Tuesday

Bush to Attack Cuba!

Washington, D.C.,

In a surprising turn of events White House officials have revealed their next move in the War on Terror is to attack Cuba. White House Spokeman Ari Fleischer said, “The President is dedicated to protecting freedom and fighting terror wherever it may be.” He also said that “Cuba is a direct threat to America.”

Cuban dictator Fidel Castro made no comment yet on any allegations but an inside source said, “[Fidel] Castro is very angry about these accusations and will not tolerate it.”

“We must protect ourselves against every nation which does not like our values,” said Colin Powell at a news briefing, “It is very clear that Cuba is one of these nations.” He also said, “Cuba has a long history of human rights violations and is known to hurt its own people. Why should we tolerate such a threat?”

Bush has made no public comments regarding his plans but inside sources report that “Bush is planning a full scale retaliation against Cuba.”

PUBLIC REACTION

Many people were outraged by the latest accusations, most of which saying that it was unecessary.

“What did they do to us?” said hot dog vendor Barry Shuko, “Why do we have to attack them?”

“I think this is crazy, what will come next? Bush is off his rocker,” said stay home mom Lisa Wright.

Some people were for the war, citing Cuba’s track record against the U.S.

“I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis. They are a threat to us. We need to bomb them back to the stone age.” said NRA member Ed Stassis.

Maria Tonso who lives near ground zero said, “We lost everything in 9/11 and I think it is high time we get back at those that did this. I am all for this war.”

WORLD REACTION

Many in the world were outraged at the news of America’s plans for Cuba saying America has gone too far.

French parliment members gathered for an all day session used to denounce Bush and his administration. “America must be stopped.” said several members. Several other countries held similiar meetings.

Tony Blair made no comments but a spokeperson for him said “He gives his full support to Bush.”

Colin Powell commented against outcries to stop war by saying, “You are either with us or against us, President Bush has made this clear since 9/11. I think it is in their best interest to be with us.”

Cuba, which has a small military, has indicated it would do it’s best to defend itself in the event of an attack. “Cuba will not go down without a fight,” said a top military personell.



***Satire is always in all-italics...

No comments: